We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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