So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
