im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
