I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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