she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
