yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
