it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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