Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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