butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
