So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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