Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
