i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
