he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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