she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
