The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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