Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
