just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
