She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
