Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
