Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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