I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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