You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
