youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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