do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
