dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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