She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
