Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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