About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize