You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it's like iHOP with fire
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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