dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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