he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
