I think I died a long time ago.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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