hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
