hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize