How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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