Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
