Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
