she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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