do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
