whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
