I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
