He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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