just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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