I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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