That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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