all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
