I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
