peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
