I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
