Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
