i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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