I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
