Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
