so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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