I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
