I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
