why didn't you poke me back
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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