I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no, he came in my armpit
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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