Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he fucked my hip out of place.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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