Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
