Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize