I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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