so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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